Thursday, March 31, 2011
Girl Talk and Guy talk
I was talking to one of my female friends the other day and we were discussing the fact that a guy she had met earlier hadn't texted her. It wasn't that she was competely distraught, but she was concerned about his possible lack of interest. I, of course, immediately went into consolation mode. "He was probably really busy, or his phone was off, or...broken! That's it his phone broke, it must have, because he DEFINITELY would've talked to you if everything was fine!" At first she nodded, and then a male friend, who had been correcting the grammar mistakes on a note that was posted by the RA, jumped in and said that we were such girls. That there are plenty of logical reasons why he didn't text her that didn't include technological malfunction. I was stuck on the fact that he labeled our conversation as girly. Is the way that girls communicate with each other really that different from guys? When giving advice, is an emotional versus a logical response gender defined? I think it depends less on the gender of those involved and more on the immediate needs of the listener. She wasn't looking for a logical straightforward reason as to why he hadn't kept in touch, she was looking for an affirmation, or at least speculation, that he found her engaging. If it were two guys in the situation what would happen? I'm guessing the phrase, "on to the next one", might come up...
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In situations like this, sometimes guys are different, but it really depends on the personality or characteristic of the guys. Some guys aren't much less like girls. They like to know why isn't the girl texting them too and their friend could come up with the same responses as you did and probably other excuses too. Sometimes I think like a man, and would think that they're other logical reasons too. I think it just depends on the personality of the guys are they the "on to the next" type or the " I hope she really likes me because I really like her" type.
ReplyDeleteWe men would simply say "She didn't text me, all right, let me call her or keep bugging her until she gives me some sort of response." works for me!!!
ReplyDelete@amanda True, but what I'm saying is that a man who shows an emotional response shouldn't be considered girly and you shouldn't consider yourself as "manly" for thinking things through logically. Emotion and logic shouldn't be gender defined because we all have the capacity for emotion AND logic.
ReplyDelete@aaron well... that's not crazy at all. But that is a way to work the situation to your advantage. And I have no idea how to comment your blogs... like there's no comment box.
I actually just wrote a paper on communication between men and women!! It was interesting to write because the paper was all about the genders' interpretations of each other's behaviors. Basically, it depends on the situation, I think. I feel like at the heart of it, men and women want the same things, but they feel pressure to behave certain ways. Like in this situation... Maybe the guy wanted to text the girl, but he could hear his guy friends in his head saying like, "No, man. You don't want to seem clingy." On the other hand, your girl friend probably feels the same way. I think it's just a game we all have to play, even though everyone thinks it sucks. =P
ReplyDeleteAlso, check out this funny video relating to what you're talking about. I watched it and was like, "So true..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUe3sbtqI2Q
I'd actually like to read that! I just wish everyone could say what they felt, as difficult as that is, so that you wouldn't have to play games... it all seems sort of silly. Oh and the Video...amazing!!! I'm not going to lie I've done that a few times, taken five years to figure out what to say that wouldn't reveal how you feel about the person you're messaging. ahh Facebook chat...
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