Hypocrites for Jesus?

I’ve met my fare share of agnostics and atheists but it wasn’t until I got to college that I found people who decided not to believe in God and go through the motions anyways. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the best Christian, far from it actually, but if you ask me I’ll tell you right then and there what the Lord has done in my life and what he continues to do. I may not make it to church every Sunday but that’s more out of laziness or exhaustion than lack of belief. I’ve always been a believer, I grew up in a Christian household, and as I grew older I seriously contemplated my religion and decided, yeah, this works for me. If it isn’t for you that’s fine, I’m not one to pitch bibles and cry damnation, but I will let you know that if you’re having a problem God can help and he’s always waiting. But I digress; the one thing I absolutely cannot stand is a hypocrite. They seem to run rampant around here. They stand in chapel praising, praying, and clapping their hands knowing that they don’t believe. They look down on others for their indiscretions even though their house isn’t clean. They preach abstinence and saving yourself for marriage when plenty of people’s neighbors know their name. Really? Why not just show your true colors and be who you are? What are you afraid of? Truthfully, I’m going to judge you, it’s wrong but it’s human nature, and in the end I’m going to accept you exactly as you are. You sleep around? I don’t care. You drink and smoke? Do what you like. Just don’t turn around after all of it and call me out as a Christian because I sleep in. I’ve done my fair share of dirt, had my slips, wandered off the path, but at the end of the day I say, “God, we both know I was wrong, I’m not gonna deny that, but please forgive me and help me not to make the same mistake in the future.” And then I keep it moving, leave it in the past. Lord knows I’ll try my best, but I’ll slip up again and again because I’m human, but that shows me that I can never lecture other people when they fail. I wish we could all do that. Keep our eyes on God and ourselves and off of each other.

Enter where few have been allowed...

Sounds scary but really I just want you to check out my poetry blog, http://randrofmymind.blogspot.com/ , everytime I get inspired to write a poem I'll put it on there and you can let me know what you think (Yes I'm shamelessly plugging myself)!

An Irritated Rant.

There's a thin, but visible, line between selfishness and self preservation.It's great to be down for a friend and be willing to get dragged through the mud with them but at some point you have to start looking out for number one. Is it so wrong to care about yourself first? To think "what will happen to me?" before jumping in with them? Are you an awful person for stepping back and saying "I can't stand with you on this one."? Take it from someone who's looked past the indiscretions of others for years, it gets tiring. Especially when they refuse to admit that they were the one who created the problem. Why insist on blaming others for thinking what you have, on occasion, confirmed? Is what they're saying really so far fetched? How is it that more than a few people, who don't have a connection to each other, can reach the same conclusion? Mass hallucination? NO! You are the one who creates the image people have of you! I admit, I can see how things can be blown out of proportion, but at the root of it, it's easy to see how they could have come to the conclusion that they did. I've fought for you! Put myself, and my reputation, on the line for you! Gotten knee deep in the grave you insist on digging for yourself, trying to pull you out! At what point does it end? Am I to forever try to take three steps forward for every two you take back? Why am I even trying to help someone who adamantly refuses to help themselves? The point is, I'm tired of going into battle against others when all you put in my artillary are half truths and partial information. If you can't trust me enough to be perfectly straight with me, then I won't be willing to stay in your corner. Always remember, in every lie there is a grain of truth and in every rumor an ounce of credibility.

Poems!

I fancy myself a poet so these are the first of a few poems I wanted to share! let me know what you think!

Untitled Because Sex Was Too Straightforward

Hearts beating, rhythmically living

Calling and needing, hurting and feeling

Skin blushing, searching and touching

Lustfully greeting, wanting and needing

Bodies meeting, surging and seething

Loving and fighting, passion igniting

Souls mixing, breaking and fixing

Binding and freeing, floating and being

Hearts leaving, moments fleeting

 Bodies needing, energy depleting

Based on Out in the Fields with God: a Choir Song

The cares of life are washing away as the sun

Warms my face. My hands run lightly over the

Grass. I fall into a stream and the water is cool

Against my body. I’m floating peacefully and the

 Breeze makes my skin tingle. The world passes

Beneath me but I barely notice

I’m walking and listening to life. The ground is

Soft under my feet. The birds and the bees circle

My face and tangle in my hair. Laughter rings

Everywhere but it comes from my soul. The flowers

Tremble in my wake. My dreams flow from my mind

And become sweet realities.

He’s here. I can’t see him, but it doesn’t matter.

I feel him. I’m tired, so tired, He’s carrying me

As I rest. Comfort washes over me and joy fills

My spirit. I’m by myself but I don’t feel alone.

He’s surrounding me, molding me, becoming me.

I’m one with the creator.

Google: Define Infatuation

So I'm going to try and blog twice a week, sometimes I'll throw poems in here for creative feedback, but yeah it's all going to be the random things that pop into my head, hence the name of my blog, it's loosely based on the interpretation of dreams by Freud, which is more interesting than it sounds... to me at least, I love psych, but that’s another point...

This may seem sad but I actually had to Google an emotion, as in I went over to my Google toolbar and typed in define infatuation. Needless to say, Google had gotten this request so many times that I only needed to get to define infa- before it came up. About .06 seconds later (according to Google) I got this:

 Web Definition:

1.    a foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration

2.      An unreasoning love or attraction

3.      marked by foolish or unreasoning fondness

You get the gist; basically it’s described as the intense feeling of being stupid because of liking someone.  This does make sense, you’re stuck in that limbo of I know I don’t love you, but there is something there that I can’t get past, and yet it’s nothing that I’m inclined to explore. It’s neither here nor there, and there’s a lot of sure, I mean I guess, but not really going on in your mind. I can tell you from experience, it’s really irritating. It’s the lukewarm grey area between love and like. And yet…I would say foolish, unreasoning, and extravagant may be a little harsh. This feeling has to be based on some aspect of the person that attracted you so it’s not unreasoning, you’re not making any grand gestures of expression so it’s not extravagant, and you usually give a lot of thought to someone you’re infatuated with so it’s hardly foolish. Maybe these definitions were written by people who hated being infatuated with someone. They want black or white, hot or cold, love, but that’s not for everyone. Sometimes you just want an object of affection to think about when bored, or someone to dote on without all of the strings. In reality, infatuation isn’t such an awful thing.

T-Rae’s definition of infatuation:

1.    An intense mix of lust and like that engages the heart but does not tax the mind and is both reasonable and well thought out.