What’s the best way to break up with someone? I mean, you spend all of this time mentally preparing yourself to cut this person out of your life and then you get to the big moment, when you actually have to tell them you don’t want to know them anymore and… nothing. What words would convey the idea? There’s the always popular “Kick rocks, DUECES!!!” but that’s if it ended badly. What if you just need to move on and it’s not them, it’s you? That’s cliché at this point, so it would sound horrible to say it, but it’s the truth, it really is you and not them. Should you be direct? “It’s not working, it’s over.” Indirect? “See, I think it would be a wonderful idea for both of us if we slowly began to see less and less of each other until we didn’t have a relationship at all…” Professional? “To Whom it May Concern: I think of myself as a company and I’m downsizing, I apologize, but you’ve been terminated.” Intellectual? “It seems our mutual interaction with each other has reached an impasse and has become stagnant, it would be in the best interest of both parties to dissipate the existing arrangement.” How exactly can you do it without hurting the other person? My personal favorite is the compliment sandwich. The compliment sandwich is where you compliment the person, criticize them or deliver bad news, and then finish with a compliment. For example, “I love that sweater on you, but I can’t go out with you any more… you’re still a great person though!”. Nah… that doesn’t really convey the message… Maybe you just have to say exactly what you’re feeling and put everything openly and honestly on the table. Then they can understand everything and have closure, be alright with everything ending.
Now that you have the substance what about the delivery? Definitely not a text message, that’s just awful. End a relationship with someone in 160 characters (on a blackberry), GO. NOT THE MOVE EVER. Facebook and Twitter… are you kidding me? Twitter: So I’m leaving you and our #relationship is over, it's just not workin, no hard feelings but I'm unfollowing you too... #dueces #itsbeencool ß exactly 140 characters… AWFUL. And Facebook, there’s always that awkward moment when So and So is now single comes up… and the other person didn’t know. What about a letter? I mean written sentiment does come from the heart… but it still feels impersonal, as if you couldn’t look at the person to say what you needed to say. This is the move if the person has the ability to talking you out of leaving and you need to make a clean break. A phone call is the move if you can stand to hear the person’s unhappiness but couldn’t look in their face. The best way would have to be a face to face conversation, you know, you say what you have to, they say what they have to and then you make the final decision.
Break up sound track for inspiration! Here are songs that all say the same thing in different ways: IT’S OVER!
1. Dueces- Chris Brown (of course)
2. Yahh Trick Yahh- Soulja Boy
3. Already Gone- Kelly Clarkson
4. Loving You No More- Diddy & Dirty Money ft. Drake
5. Going Under- Evanescence
6. Kitty Kat- Beyonce (for girls lol)
7. Green Light- Beyonce
8. It Ends Tonight- All-American Rejects
9. In Love With Another Man- Jazmine Sullivan
10. Blame It On Me- Chrisette Michele
11. Pretty Wings- Maxwell
12. Take A Bow- Rihanna
13. Irreplaceable- Beyonce
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